The Malaysiana Digests

A Happy Post

I managed to make myself depressed last night. Firstly, my bingeing episode (which lasted 4 days straight) became a purging episode. Secondly, the cumulative effect of world affairs - which yesterday came too close to home, struck a nerve. Thirdly, another piece of news reminded me that kids can be cruel, very very cruel - and stupid.

The weather didn't help. It's been raining and raining and although I normally welcome rain (good setting to cuddle up with a good book or magazine), some sunshine would've probably made a difference in my mood.

I was told once that I can't save the world. So let's start with what I can work with. My mood was the first thing that needed adjusting and this little girl never fails to make me smile. Never.

Too Close...

I had a great time at a seminar the past two days. The event was insightful and the food was great. But amidst the laughter and the learning, I looked around and I was reminded that I was in the Marriott.

Even the thought of being in KL (i.e. Malaysia) didn't give me any comfort. Little did I know that there was a bomb attack on the Australian High Commission in KL today (Thank God no one was hurt). Officials say that it was a poorly planned attempt. This just days after the Thai bomb blast.

Anti-terrorism efforts were on a roll. In London, 8 were arrested on suspicion of preparing for a terrorist attack. 1000 pounds of ammonium nitrate fertilizer was confiscated.

A Madrid-scale attack was thwarted in Manila.

"We have pre-empted a Madrid-level attack on the metropolis by capturing an explosive cache of 80 pounds (36 kg) of TNT which was intended to be used for bombing malls and trains in Metro Manila," Arroyo said on national television on Tuesday.

Madrid-scale.

Artist's Impression

Kuala Lumpur is the "artist's impression" of Malaysia - declared a friend. We have wonderful facilities - public transport (though problematic) exists in a myriad of forms. People wear suits to work, buildings are tall, and there is a Starbuck's at almost every kaki lima.

Looking at KL, one would imagine that Malaysians are extremely affluent. We can afford RM50 lunches, nice shiny Bimmers, Two Thousand Ringgit shoes, Thousand Ringgit pens and Ten Ringgit chocolates the size of your pinky.

We spend our evenings at MPO concerts and the theatre. We retire to our homes, decked in Cellini furniture and very good water-filtration systems.

But in reality, the rest of Malaysia consists of post-war era buses as public transport systems, rising costs of education coupled with declining value for money, a further degrading public health care system, limited access/availability of public amenities (let alone the internet), just to list a few. In short, we're paying through taxes for an ever-shrinking public service.

Our elections were no better. Jikon was commenting on the commentary and analysis post-elections, and while everyone seems excited and encouraged by the win, no one can put their finger on what is it that they're excited and encouraged about (especially when everything - read Cabinet - seems almost status quo).

Is this then the "artist's impression" of democracy in Malaysia?

It's obvious the BN won on the promise of Pak Lah, the man and the hopes of progress vis a vis the party, perhaps. But personally, the mood is still one of a lull period - the break and quiet time after the bubble went bust is still there. We were chugging along (and continue to chug along after the elections), but where are we headed?

Vague and Cryptic Post

... but some of you may know what this is all about.

Providence and New York

Procrastinating

I've been procrastinating. All four of my wisdom teeth are lying flat - beneath my gums. All but one.

My colleagues know only too well of my little battle with this tooth. The missed opportunities (read: food), the whining, the throbbing pain. The episodes were periodic, I always knew that the pain would go away after a couple of days or so.

No such luck this time. I'm really going to have to pull it out, especially if I don't want to screw up my other teeth.

The pain is getting a tad bit too unbearable. I can't think. I can't enjoy my food. I've resorted to sticking to the Aztec (and other liquids) for dinner. Eventually I'll have perpetual PMS. That's it lah. Have to do this now. I have RM190 left in my dental allocation for the year. The extraction is going to cost RM400. Sigh...

Live by what you trust, not by what you fear.

I know that there are people who voted for BN because they feared the brand of Islam that PAS propagated. I know that there are people who voted for PAS because they feared the path that a BN-lifestyle may lead them in the Hereafter.

"Live by what you trust, not by what you fear."

I trust that Malaysia is not the sum of its politicians, rather its people. I trust that our country will not crumble if BN had won by a smaller margin. I also trust that while KLSE does impact the lives of many, it does not impact the lives of everyone.

I trust that no man is perfect - this includes Pak Lah, Tuan Guru Haji Abdul Hadi Awang, Mr Karpal Singh dan lain-lain. I trust that the Opposition loves Malaysia as much as Barisan Nasional.

I trust that PAS will not have enough votes to form a government for a long time - not because of what it lacks in terms of marketing and change management, rather the simple fact that demographics (and probability) will not let it.

I trust that UMNO will keep itself in check for as long as there is a strong influence holding it accountable to it. One force was Mahathir. Another was a strong opposition.

At the end of the day

[For a higher res version of this image, click here.]

A friend pointed out how the flags at the junction near where I live seems to have gone from blue to green to blue in the span of a couple of days. After stumbling into a 'clash' between a horde of blue supporters and a horde of green supporters (all on similar-looking kapcais), I sort of figured out how such colour changes have been made possible.

It reminded me of campus elections when I was in university. One of the first rules all candidates and supporters were made to adhere to is: "Thou shall not touch other people's posters".

Aiz wrote about playing fair a while back. As I watched the results appear seat-by-seat on TV (I have since given up as the accompanying commentary was boring me to death and shifted my gaze to MalaysiaKini), I wondered whether BA (or the independents for that matter) ever had a chance.

Take for example, the full-page ads in the Star. All on prime pages (the first couple of odd-numbered pages most conducive as you don't need to flip the page to see the contents) were dominated by BN ads. Spots on TV were either commentary on how BN will do, or interviews with/about BN candidates.

Maybe playing poster hide-and-seek was the only way to get any 'airtime' for certain candidates!

But all that is past now, and just as I was about to wash off the stench of your typical political "marketing tactics" and turn my attention on the results, I realised that one TV station had all of their correspondences report from UMNO buildings in every state. Hmmm...

We all know that political reporting in Malaysia is ... well ... not as well-rounded as it should be. So technically, these things should not surprise me, although I do fear the day if/when these things do not upset me.

It seems that the ruling party is coming back with an even stronger mandate. Congratulations are in order. It also seems that the dynamics will now be very promising for them in that they have probably won back two states - one very rich with natural resources.

Many believe that the improvements we've seen lately in the Government-of-the-day had much to do with a wake-up call at the last elections. Proof perhaps that a formidable opposition is critical in ensuring a level of check-and-balance in a democracy.

But alas, this is not the case this year. What do we, the rakyat have left to ensure that promises are kept and the momentum of the new Prime Minister continues well after such a landslide victory?

Report cards that inform the people of the performance of their representatives are essential - we can't count on the political party to weed out the rotten apples. If we're heading towards an almost non-existent opposition in government situation like Singapore, we'll need another mechanism to ensure that complacency does not creep in (not that it hasn't already...).

Even in our work - performance reviews are done every quarter. No organisation, let alone a country, can afford to have one once every 4 years or so. I am all for live telecasts of Parliamentary sittings - let us see what our politicians (ruling party, opposition, independent, whatever) are like, how they perform, where they stand on things, and how they keep to their promises.

Here's to wishful thinking.

Best of Both Worlds

Muslims today face the challenge of a perceived duality. One where progress means leaving the old ways, where the old ways are defined as all that is religious and spiritual. We are ingrained with the idea that this duality consists of two opposing forces that can never meet, rather than a synergy of sorts.

My aunt and I have been fascinated by a certain young man for quite some time now. He's the founder of an e-commerce company in Egypt, who later re-discovered his faith and became an (almost) overnight religious talkshow wonderboy.

"Parables of the Qur'an" and "Stairway to Heaven" were hits mainly due to its youth appeal. Moez discusses Islam in a way that is relevant to the young - everything from how we view the religion to how we lead our lives - and he does it by interspersing Qur'anic verses with honest, lively and at times, emotional dialogue with the panel.

What fascinates me is that Moez Massoud is real - he's not some sheltered person who spews platitudes and tells us that it's possible just because it is. He has lived the transformation, from depths that most of us will (hopefully) never see to heights we assumed only the untainted could hope for.

"You can have both worlds," insists Massoud. "In fact, I think that this duality is precisely what the Islamic world needs in order to advance and overcome some of the negative images that have been cast upon it. Being religious doesn't mean shutting yourself off from the world. I'd love to see people sit in a makra'a [a gathering for Quranic recitation] in the evening and the next morning conduct a board meeting or give a Power Point presentation," says Massoud, who has been trying to convey this message through his television show.

An example of an interesting 'marriage' of the two worlds was something Noreen saw on her way to the surau recently - a notice for a mass prayer (solat hajat) before the exploration guys ventured off on a project.

Examples like these give me hope that the world is not so crummy after all (despite what the doomsayers seem to consistently spout in those mass emails). That there's more to the Message than ageing Ustazs talking to themselves. That Islam in this century can still mean progressive ideas, tolerant mindsets and rational discourse.

"The 'do-this-don't-do-that' approach is something that I try to avoid," he explains. "It's definitely not my place to pass judgment on anyone. There is a whole verse in the Quran that says when you meet people who you may deem not as religiously versed as you, don't call them nonbelievers. Don't think that you are superior to them. Allah says that you too were once like this until He bestowed his blessings. I want to bring back the spirit of the Quran itself, not people's interpretations of it. A lot of times during the show when we talk about various issues I'll stop and say, 'Please don't feel intimidated if you are not doing this yet. You can get there someday.'"

Full article here.

Hermit the Frog

I often think about escaping to another place - these thoughts seep into my holiday plans (Boss, if you're reading this, I DO plan to take a real holiday within the next two years!).

My ideal spot will probably be somewhere in the Middle East - Cairo and Amman seem like good spots for crony reasons, and makes for ideal basecamps because its facilities.

The ideal spot will need to have lots and lots of sand - the kind that dwarfs you in its magnimity, the kind that seems to go on forever only to meet clear blue skies, the kind that makes you weep in humility and awe at God's creations.

My ideal spot must be silent - save for the whispering wind, the muted tramplings of camels and the occassional incoherent wailings of Arab men. Oh... sightings of Moez look-alikes would be good too...

Is this a hell of our own making?

Is Malaysian politics a reflection of the maturity levels of the voters/population in general? Why is American politics person-centric and why are we party-centric?

We often lament about how our politicians politicise issues of race and religion, but have we explored the possibility that they're just singing to the tune of the market?

Looking at comments on blogs and forums, it seems that we (as in the observers of this powerplay) tend to fall into the trap of only caring about issues that affect us directly.

This leaves a fragmented voting population - divided along racial lines and income class. This can be seen from the degree of importance placed on various issues - there seems to be no consistent theme (at least to me...). BN falls back on taking credit for what any government should do anyway, PAS continues to out-Islam UMNO, and so on and so forth.

Politicians are a hungry lot. They pick up an issue or issues that gives them the most mileage and harp on it to garner support. The more riled up we are about something, the more focused they are on the same issue. In this manner, anything can be an issue - potholes and longkangs, the merits of the Islamic state concept, national language, whatever. Considering how personal we take some of these issues, tempered by use of language on the part of the politicians, it makes for an emotional debate, rather than a rational argument.

What further irks me is that all these issues are inward-looking. They're extremely localised and myopic - on all sides. Yes, these issues are important. But we only need so many Jaguh Kampung.

The things I'm worried about:

What are we doing about the increasing threat of terrorism? Domestic security has a lot to do with how we cooperate with the rest of the world. The kind of government we end up electing has to have policies that ensures security.

Where are we heading? Our nation's competitive advantage is dependent again on the responsiveness of our government to the tides of business. The hype of the 90s was the MSC. Now, these jobs are going to India and China. What's next for us?

Banking on stability is good, but it's also old. Malaysians have matured to the point where we want opportunities that our parents couldn't even dream of. I for one want progress, and it doesn't mean more shopping malls and entertainment outlets.

I believe that we are in a hell of our own making. The kind of politicians we have now is a direct result of our own political awareness. We are an immature nation, one that still needs to learn how to engage each other in a constructive manner.

I was watching a program on ART where Arab-American politicians were being interviewed. One made a comment about the Middle East peace process that I found intriguing:

If you want to be part of the process, you cannot shut out anyone who has the power to make peace or to make war.

In short, he was talking about having an open mind and an open dialogue. Unfortunately, what we have now is a monologue. Many many monologues, voices from the voters talking at each other (although the internet has made it possible for voters to talk to each other), and voices from the politicians screaming for attention.

The Value of a Woman

It's often said that the value of a woman lies in her potential as a wife and that the be-all and end-all of her goals in life should be to get married and 'settle down'. As simple as it sounds, it's a never-ending paperchase of sorts - the marriage certificate followed by many many birth certificates seems to mark a woman's progression in society.

In Malaysia, the process of assigning the value of a woman has now become slightly more sophisticated. Another piece of paper, her academic qualifications, pushes her 'value' higher - at least when it comes to her dowry in the Malay community.

Charting a graph of desirability would yield a good evolutionary trend for women - that all these demands by society forces us to do better. We used to be expected to be good homemakers (cooking and housekeeping abilities are very much in demand), and now, we're expected to have successful careers too.

Wonderful. But what then?

What happens after you start accumulating the non-academic certificates? Most women end up being closeted to give way to the *real* breadwinner, whom in some cases, have not reached the level of enlightenment required by the role. The burden of family and marital harmony, then, ends up resting on her shoulders.

It's not easy being a woman. That's something we always complain about, irrespective of the stage of life we're in. We're ride the rollercoaster of this 'graph' - our value appreciates in in our youth as we start accumulating our professional certificates (which gives us money to appreciate our value even more with make-up and clothes), and depreciates once we accumulate the more traditional certificates.

I'm thankful for the many conveniences and freedoms our society has to offer women, but it's sad to see the lengths that so many young women out there have to go to in order to 'play the game' of Catch (- a husband) - irrespective of whether these men are really deserving of them.

In case no one has noticed, this is a rant and warning about the many perils of allowing yourself to succumb to a patriarchal system.

On a side note (something off-topic that sparked off this rant):

To the men, don't hang on to all this 'honour' and 'family shame' business for the wrong reasons. I read something today that truly made me sick.

Related Posts:
Perihal Perempuan
Of P Ramlee and the Malay Mindset - Comment
A Family, A Home, A Job, A Life?
Equitability II

Job Character - ME ME ME!

Temptation got the better of me. Thanks to Nadd for this link. Conclusion? So accurate in some sense. Points to ponder in others. Now so grateful to Ayah for letting me take up those violin lessons when I was younger (see "The Arrow of Spirituality").

Ki System

Natal Year number: 7
Although Najah may have taken a considerable time to reach maturity, she is nevertheless a quick thinker whose ideas change as rapidly as her conversation. She's an individual who wants to be liked, and as such finds it hard to refuse requests. For the same reason she dislikes arguments, and wherever possible will compromise to avoid conflict. Not the sort of individual to be employed in litigation, but excellent in mediation.

Natal Month number: 6
Naturally self-disciplined, Najah will have assumed responsibility for other family members from an early age. She is naturally supportive of both the young and the old in her immediate family, and has a capacity for hard work, so there is a danger that her life may become a little too serious. Najah is suited to social work, charitable functions or the world of education.

Natal House number: 6
With an analytical brain, and holding strong views, Najah may appear to be somewhat stubborn. She is likely to have a particular interest in technological matters, and will work long and hard to master the skills needed to put that technology to good use. Family-orientated and good with money, she will work best with a small circle of like-minded colleagues.

Comments based on Western Grid

1

Although Najah may be reasonably talkative in public, she finds it difficult to express personal feelings to those closest to her. In employment terms, this inhibition is of little consequence.

2

Sensitive to criticism and naturally intuitive, Najah has a natural ability to detect insincerity in others. Because she is a sensitive soul, Najah can be a solid friend and a good listener. As a result, she will get on well with colleagues, whilst being more than capable of handling office politics.

55

Somewhat intense, Najah is a determined individual whose occasional outbursts will upset the status quo. She dislikes restriction on her freedom of movement, so reacts well to variety. Emotionally stable, Najah is a very determined individual whose enthusiasm will be a benefit to any employment.

7

Najah will find life's lessons hard to learn. She will suffer from loss (of possessions or those she loves) before questioning the cause of that loss. It is likely that Najah will develop a faith of some sort, and although it need not necessarily be a religious faith, it will nevertheless be something that she holds onto against all the evidence. Potential employers need to find out what that faith entails.

9

Ambitious to improve her lot, Najah will constantly push forward to achieve something in her life, yet this ambition will be balanced by humanitarian ideals that will lead her to support causes that may demand self-sacrifice.

[The Arrow of Determination: the numbers 1, 5 and 9]
Determined and persistent, Najah has the patience to wait until she has achieved her goal. She enjoys a progressive and enterpreneurial approach, and as such, will be an asset to any employer. If the number 4 (in the Western Grid) is missing, she will be inclined to lose her temper on occasions.

Comments based on Chinese Grid

11

Najah will be reasonably successful in financial terms, and enjoy a degree of luck.

2

Najah has an average mind, and without the numbers 4 and 9 in the Chinese version will not enjoy a creative existence.

3

Unless Najah also has in the Chinese version either the numbers 5 and 7, or the numbers 4 and 8, she will be hypersensitive and prone to stress-related problems.

5

Emotionally well-balanced, Najah is not too intense, and will reach the right decisions. However, with the numbers 2 and 3 in the Chinese version, the balance may be upset.

7

If the numbers 3 and 5 in the Chinese version are missing, Najah is something of a perfectionist who seeks to achieve detailed accuracy, and has a natural instinct to unearth the truth. If the Chinese Grid also contains the numbers 3 and 5, she will be attracted to work in a spiritual or humanitarian field.

9

Although Najah is ambitious, her ambition is tempered with humanitarian ideals.

[The Arrow of Willpower: The numbers 1, 5 and 9]
Najah is somewhat stubborn and very determined. Holding strong opinions that she will voice without reservation, she will nevertheless reach her goals through persistent hard work.

[The Arrow of Spirituality: The numbers 3, 5 and 7]
Serious and calm, Najah enjoys an inner strength that supports her faith. She may develop an interest in music, and if so, should be encouraged to master an instrument in early life. Later in life, Najah will become a dependable and respected figure in the community.

Astronomical Proportions

"...an Inuit woman who was thrown from a kayak by her fearful father. Her fingers became seals, and she became the spirit of the sea and all its creatures — the most powerful being in Inuit mythology. For the moment, though, the astronomical Sedna is still known officially as a solar system object called 2003 VB12, invisible to the naked eye and unimaginably remote."

The "big" news of the week is not about elections. It's not about William Hung's reappearance on American Idol. It's not about the numerous events happening all over the world that I can't bring myself to talk about.

Sedna, a planetoid slightly smaller than Pluto has been discovered at the outer fringes of our solar system. It's blows the mind to imagine how far it is from the Sun:

It's so far away, our Sun would look like a speck that can be blocked out by the head of a pin from its surface. It challenges the way we think about Pluto. (Should Pluto be 'demoted' to a planetoid?). It may even have a moon orbiting it.

We often question why should we focus so much attention on something so far away when there is still much to do here at home. I would say that sometimes, all a problem needs is new perspective - the kind that a 10,500-year solar orbit would give.

My Sweet... My Precioussss...

One of my favourite movies is "Chocolat" (Johnny Depp and Juliette Binoche). Other than the storyline, which showcases the age old battle between traditional beliefs and new ideas, what intrigued me most was how they successfully brought out the sensuality of my 'poison' - chocolate.

Imagine my delight when Chocz (third floor Ampang Mall in Suria KLCC) was unveiled. Lime green cushions and its white setting invites any onlooker to focus on the little treasures that lie within.

My first trip was somewhat disappointing - in my eagerness to taste what sweet nectar this establishment had to offer, I broke one sacred rule of eating-out. Never go during their first week.

It's been several months now and I am so glad I forgave their teething problems and came back.

Browsing through the menu, I discovered the drink so prominently featured in my favourite movie. Hot chocolate made the way the Aztec and Mayan nobility enjoyed it - with a dash of red chilli.

As I had my first sip, I recall the glazed look that Aramande Voizin had as she sipped the same sweet nectar in Vianne's chocolate shop - which inspired her amusing monologue about her youth.

I can't say I started hallucinating, but my world did quiet down drastically - much like the effect of a macro lens on a picture. The sweet taste slowly transformed itself into a microscopic storm at the back of my throat, followed by an excruciating feeling of longing (chocolate does that to me - give me a bit and I'll want more!). Minutes later, I drifted off into a daze.

Talk to me no more, I'm having my "Aztec Tchocolat1"!

Side note: Amir, who hadn't been able to sleep, was prescribed this concoction. Halfway through, he was yawning. Fische, whom I have never seen sleepy at 4 o'clock in the afternoon, was given a sip (or three!). He yawned like he never yawned before.

Perihal Kerja

When we were younger, our ambitions were simple. Some of us wanted to be police officers, astronauts, accountants, and lawyers.

Today's titles are more illusive - Solutions Architects (who have nothing to do with buildings), Account Managers (who have nothing to do with book-keeping), or Analysts.

I'm a big fan of The Sims, mainly because of the clear career tracks available in the game.

You start off as a medical test subject and after a while, you become a paramedic. Keep those hours and spend some of your free time picking up a skill or two, and you move into a higher-paying job with better hours. After a while, you focus less on your technical skills (like "logic") and poof! You're management. At this stage, you have to focus on 1) making friends and 2) charisma (not so far off from the truth eh?).

I've been talking to a lot of people, young and old about how to plan my career. Some place money as a top priority - it doesn't matter what they do, they just want to get paid.

I guess I can understand why some people take this path. Life choices force one to prioritise money - over-extend a credit line or two and your base salary requirements become etched in stone.

But is it all about the money? Would you want to get paid 10,000 a month and be someone's punching bag and kuli batak twenty-four seven?

What ever happened to personal pride and the respect of your peers? What ever happened to learning opportunities and a chance to develop yourself? What happened to jumping out of bed every morning eager to start the day because you feel like you're moving the world?

The lesson that the likes of William Hung has taught us is that a good attitude gets us everywhere. Look at him - he turned what could've been the most humiliating moment of his life into a cash cow (not to mention the company of some very attractive cheerleaders!).

I was once given a piece of advice by a more senior colleague way back when I first started work. He said:

"It's not what you do that matters, it's what you put into the work that makes you excellent. Even if you're assigned to put paperclips on documents, but if you take pride in what you do and add value to your given task, the world will be your oyster.

And you don't need to scream and shout - you do good, the 'right' people will take notice and give you the opportunities you deserve."

Thinking in Pictures

I work with people who love their sketchbooks but they're not artists or designers. Some of the sketches end up on our whiteboards, which gets translated into 'orders' and end up becoming voluminous piles of paper (oklah.. to be fair - I'll call it 'policy').

It's interesting how some of us can think better in pictures. I catch myself reverting to that state when words just wasn't enough. Words became symbols, symbols are linked via dotted or solid lines, similar symbols are grouped together with 'megasymbols' and the important regions of my drawings have asterisks next to them. Should the asterisks become unmanageable - I start bolding the outlines of megasymbols to denote severity or importance. Some items are so severe, it punches holes in the paper!

I probably started doing this in school. I made all my notes into pictures, with nice little colourful boxes for text linked together with cute little arrows. The only reason why I got through uni was probably because pictures made my notes seem less daunting.

So far in my 5.8 years of working, I have accumulated about 6 notebooks' worth of project scribbles (drawings, notes and once in a while, emotional outbursts!), with perhaps reams and reams of loose paper (Note to self: I really have to clear those boxes in my old cubicle!).

Of course, one could argue that my increased dependency on pictures is the effect of my ever-degrading penmanship.

I should come up with a standard for my little drawings. It was much easier drawing network diagrams and process flows. "Najah-speak for Paper" however is starting to need some colour - or the touch of a nice pen...

34-34-48

It's amazing how some men can be so nice to the point of being plain oblivious.

I was having a fat day yesterday - rephrase, I've been having a fat week after the Shocking News (which resulted in one of those humungous Chinoz breakfasts, followed by a fat latte, Peking duck fat with fried duck fat rice and grilled otak-otak fat later in the evening), and repercussions of the Shocking News (more stuffing-my-face episodes).

Last night, I felt all the fat clotting underneath my skin and I realised I couldn't breathe. Just when I was about to choke on my own fat breath, the best friend called.

Friend: "Hello. Whatcha doing?"

Me: "Looking through Victoria's Secrets online. The suits are amazingly cheap."

Friend: "Get some lah."

Me: "I would, but they don't have my size."

Friend: "Why not?"

Me: "I'm a 34-34-48".

*silence*

Friend: "But you're ok what... I'm sure they have your size."

Me: "Didn't you hear me? My ass is 4 feet all around."

Friend: "Well, let's see. You haven't gone to the gym in a while right?"

Me: "4 feet circumference lah..."

Friend: "It's ok... you look great."

The joke was lost. But I felt better anyway.

I had cucuk udang and 2 teh tariks for breakfast, and nasi goreng kerabu for lunch. Here we go again...

My Politics

There's so much being said about elections by all sides that I've turned my TV to mute and [POLITIC_FILTER="on"]

Everyone has something to say about the state of the country. Some of it is bad - perhaps to blame the other side. The bits that are good are inserted to attribute credit to certain parties. And then there are bits that are good that are made to sound bad.

We Malaysians are a critical lot - we have something to say about everything. But I'm with Ash all the way on this - a vote is secret, and personal, I might add.

At the end of the day, we're all still Malaysians.

I would like to invite you all to finish this sentence, just as an experiment. Try not to use the word "but".

"I like living in Malaysia because ... "

or

"I like being Malaysian because ... "

Update:

I feel inclined to conclude that Malaysians have a very peculiar relationship with food. It has a habit of appearing in almost any topic or discussion [see comment box below].

My turn to add my own (and since it's MY blog, I'm finishing the sentence and adding more!):

"I like being Malaysian because we grow gracefully as a nation. We are an experimentative nation that manages to maintain a civilised dialogue (by civilised I mean we don't kill each other over our ideologies) on things that have torn other nations apart.

While we all have our differing paths (UMNO, PAS, DAP, non-aligned, whatever it is), we have the same goal and loyalties - we all have Malaysia in our hearts and a fire in our bellies!"

Are we all the same girl?

I caught myself telling my girlfriends that I am more veteran than any of them would ever be in their entire lifetimes - and that's a competition I wouldn't wish anyone to one-up me on.

Reading blogs by girls and women alike, I see myself in various stages of my life. There was the cynic, the one that saw the world through purple-coloured shades - which was squashed when she first fell in love. There was the ambitious career woman, the one whose foundations seemed so strong that the world was her oyster. There was the battered soul, the one whose world fell apart when she became complacent and less vigilant about what she deserved in life. And then there is the one reborn, who saw hope and beauty in hidden places, the one who realises that she *could* have it all, if only she stood up and demanded it.

Putting one's points of views on blogs as any of these women would invite comments and criticism even though each PoV is valid depending on which stage in life they're in.

Reading the blogs of other women made me realise how far I've come in such a short time, and the lessons I've learned. I see a bit of myself in each blog and I realised that I have no regrets. I've learned not to look at life as a fairytale, rather a saga - one that is in no way over. ;-)

p.s. Happy 28th Birthday to Penny Yoon - a woman who's strength, grace, humour and faith has inspired me to do better.

Group Think

We are all entitled to our own opinions, but our opinions are often based on conclusions and observations derived from other people. The more we talk about things, the more influenced we are by the views of others.

Not necessarily a bad thing, depending on who we talk to and how strong our own convictions are.

Certain decisions, however, are personal, eventhough we're making them 'together'. Elections for example, is a very personal act, although there will be those who will herd you one way or another.

Don't vote for BN, because of the corrupt practices of its leaders.

Don't vote for PAS, because of their twisted religious propaganda.

At the end of the day, you have to also ask, are you voting for the person or the party? Is what the party stands for in line with your own value/belief system? Will this person honour his/her promises to you in your constituency? Does this party/person satisfy what's important to you, rather than the newspapers or those guys in your Yahoo! Group?

With all these considerations, the decision you have to make now has an added level of granularity and perhaps several dimensions!

Some of us do things because other people do it too. We say certain or do certain things because it makes us 1) accepted in our group of choice or 2) sets us apart from those we think are not like us. Nothing wrong with that either.

But don't you notice that some decisions, even though it runs in parallel with the society that we live in, doesn't 'feel' right, as if there's an invisible hand within us that stops us from prodding forward, or a voice that tells us "Think again!".

When confronted with the never-ending questions in any decision that has some weightage in my life, I recall Monica's methodology in charting out what I wanted in life some 7 years ago. She attacked the problem with the same methodical and logical approach as one would in tackling any corporate issues - mind maps, cause-effect diagrams and the like.

Vulcan Cold, but effective.

Then I started work, and I got trained in the 'art' of evaluating tender proposals. You have a list of requirements that was exhaustively considered, ranked by what's compulsory (the deal-breakers) and what's nice to have (the icing on the cake). This list is set in titanium - it's what's most important to YOU (or rather, your organisation), minus external influences, prior to negotiations. At the very least, you go in and no matter what is said or done to sway you one way or the other, you will remember what you wanted in the first place because you have to.

This is relatively easy to do in our professional lives - there's nothing really 'personal' at stake other than our loyalty to our employers and our professional reputations, but hard to do when it comes to our personal well-being.

But perhaps this is something we should adopt anyway, whether it be choosing a government, choosing a spouse, or choosing a job...

Buddha Sunsets and a Little Fettuccini

How far can determination get you? Quite far indeed.

*grin*

Quite far indeed...

My Ears are Still Ringing

One year-olds are cute. Really cute. They also have very shrill voices. One in particular has probably busted my eardrums. And probably that of my neighbours'.

Aeisyah and Adam came over tonight. Adam was asleep the whole time. Aeisyah was being her cheeky self. I greeted her at the door, and because she had been away for so long, she forgot about her aunt. She refused to greet me at first, and then started laughing behind my back.

Hmmm...

She has now left several marks on one dining chair (from now on known as HER chair) and some droolspots in my hair (the ones that didn't get into my eye). The window, wall and cabinets now bear the imprints of her little hands. Lucky for me that she knows how to clean up her mess - she put back every single remote control unit into the box after she painstakingly took each one out.

She spent a lot of time at my grandmother's place in Muar. So much so that she now walks with her hands behind her back and lets out a grunt whenever she tries to stand up.

Her tinkering tendencies have started to show (both parents are engineers). Upon failing to turn off the power switch to the airconditioning - RED, she motioned to the GREEN switch which was more accommodating. Figuring this one worked, she focused her attention again on the RED one. This cycle continued, yet the RED one refused to budge. She giggled each time.

A lot of things around the house needs child-proofing in preparation for her next visit and the eventuality that her brother too will become another restless toddler - tables, chairs, cables, plates...

I would start, once the ringing in my ears stops.

Bad Lasagna... BAAAD Lasagna...

We tend to gush about food that's good, that's why there's so many food reviews on the Net. But does that mean that food unreviewed has to be bad? Or that only good food gets reviewed?

Reviewing good food gives their respective establishments more business and keeps the good stuff coming. Bad food, if left unreviewed, keeps the bad stuff in circulation, snaring unsuspecting patrons - like a Venus Flytrap just sitting there waiting for the next victim.

My first bad food review (you may remember my last bad establishment review) is on the beef lasagna at Hoca Cafe in KLCC.

First and foremost, the dish was served upside-down. Hoca may think it's creative and inventive to serve lasagna upside down, but even the picture of the dish indicated that it was the traditional kind - right-side up with the cheese on top. To glaze over the fact that all one can see from an upside-down lasagna is the pasta, which makes for a boring display, they doused it with dilluted gravy (reminds me of those upside-down meat pies drenched in pea soup in Adelaide - but not nearly as interesting).

I thought perhaps there is hope, because their Shepherd's Pie (also served upside-down) was unexpectedly delightful.

I was sorely disappointed. The lasagna was dry, perhaps the gravy didn't just serve a decorative purpose, they needed it facilitate the act of swallowing. The cheesy crust was indeed a crust, one that could not be broken by a humble butterknife.

I offered it my sister, Najwa. Her response was:

"Bila Kak Jah nak diet?" [When are you going on a diet?]

So I ate my lasagna in the same way I eat my toast - right through the middle with the sides in tact.

Noreen, who has always had a strong and insatiable stomach, decided to finish it off. Even SHE found it hard to palate. But I had to get a second opinion on my sister's comment.

me: "Am I getting fat?"
Noreen: "You are just as fat as you were last month."

Good answer.

I went back to office with a bad taste in my mouth (and pocket since it was RM17 - on the high side of Hoca's menu and for what?). It didn't help that the bad taste is now developing into nausea...

Perihal Kawan

Someone once commented on my friends, how I seem to have a treasure trove of people around me who are very very special in their own right.

There are the ones who could make head or tails out of anything and everything. There are the ones who can always point you in the right direction when you can't see past your own self. There are the ones who tell you what you need to hear, rather than what you want to hear. There are also the ones who would spring into action at the drop of a hat, even haul around a CRV's worth of rubbish. And then there are those who would die for you.

I count myself lucky that I'm always in such company. They're survivors and achievers. They've got big hearts and small egoes. They all have something in common - relentless energy and a sense of selflessness that I wish I could emulate. These are people who are my brothers and my sisters, whom I hold dearly in my heart.

But there are times when I don't have what they need, when my arms can't reach far enough to pull them out of a hole, or when I'm too little a person to make a difference in whatever strife that comes their way.

Times like these, all I can offer is a shoulder to cry on, with a cup of coffee on the side, and my prayers that everything will be ok.

Real Food Required

Went to the dentist today. Never a good thing. One thing lead to another and I'm eating Bubur Ayam McD. It wouldn't be so bad if I could eat the chicken bits, but I can't.

*sigh*

24 more hours and I can join the meat/keropok-chomping population. Till the next appointment (a minor surgery) - which I'm planning to delay for as long as I can!

Wish I told the dentist about my allergies - specifically - pain. Thank God for sights like these.

p.s. I welcome food suggestions that doesn't need to be chomped - no soups or porridges need apply...