The Malaysiana Digests

Selamat Bersara!

Liza asked me whether I was going to write anything about PM's retirement today. I pondered and pondered and realised that there really was nothing more to day - everyone else said it much better.

The only thing I can say is that I'm glad for him that he's finally retiring. It's enough that we treat him like a public utility - making demands of him well beyond what is required by his contract with the government. Yes, there are many who have demanded that this day come much sooner, but realistically speaking, could we have fared better in the past couple of years without him?

He was our longest serving Prime Minister, but he's also a human being - a husband, a father, a grandfather, a brother. I saw my own father's restlessness the day he 'retired' - which was also the day he began DIY projects around the house (now we have a tool shed, instead of just a tool box!). He was so restless, he went back to work (of course, after some long overdue R&R).

I wonder what Dr M will do now. There's not much that he hasn't done. But knowing him (as well as any Malaysian anyhow), even at his age, he probably still sees the world as his oyster...

Side Note:

Someone once asked me why we Malaysians like to shoot our mouths off so much. It's no big mystery - we take our cue from our very opinionated PM! We'll miss your speeches, Dr M!

Lame Jokes for Friday Morning

Lame Joke 1

When I was down in Singapore, I asked my friends if they wanted me to bring anything back. Since they had no idea what they wanted, I made a suggestion - "Why don't I bring you some water from here, I heard it's new..."

Lame Joke 2

A boss was going to Houston for a meeting and was asking some of us for the best option on keeping in touch. One of the options was to look for a tri-band handphone, to which I replied, "Cool! Now we can call you and say - Houston, we have a problem...".

PROMUDA In the News

This came out in the Star last Saturday. The timing was perfect, on the previous Thursday, our next PM launched 2 key PROMUDA events - Project Tekad and the Careers X-Pose TV series.

A lot has been read into the article, about what the organisation stands for, and what the profile of the individuals behind the organisation may have been interpreted by different people. Those outside the organisation have mentioned to me about their assumptions after reading the article - some can't differentiate PROMUDA from a similar sounding political organisation, others can't appreciate how 'different' it is from other elite Bumiputra boys clubs.

Whatever the shortfalls of the organisation is, it is a remarkable feat. Having seen the commitment of its members, I would say that it has made a mark on society that may not have been apparent from a brief read - hence this post.

First of all, PROMUDA is as 'muhibbah' as you can get. Membership is open to degree holders below the age of 35. Going to a PROMUDA event is very non-intimidating - it's not dominated by any one race or group, everyone is there to meet new people, everyone is there to get involved. No surprise - the organisation's tagline is appropriate: Excellence through Involvement.

There is great care to not steer any activities too obviously in any political direction, or in favour of any major group (although some may argue that the perfect balance has not yet been found). But, if you can't please everyone all the time, all you can do is try not to displease too many people.

Its obsession to not displease does not mean that PROMUDA does not have a backbone. Its members are obviously passionate about what they stand for, from national education policies, to giving something back to society. Activities like the Careers Roadshow see members showing up on Saturday mornings (when others are dozing) visiting campuses to share their experiences with university students - not unlike other mentoring programmes.

Members lend their 'professional' consultancy to community-driven initiatives, the MMU Technopreneurs Conference as one example. There are various groups working on everything from charity programmes to compiling recommendations on issues of national interest.

There's a lot of activities that extend the horizons of the young professionals beyond their careers. Two of my favourite activities are the Leading Minds series lectures, which extends our view of all things Malaysian, and the Embassy Series talks, which provides us a view of where Malaysia's place is in the world.

The Leading Minds series lectures gather key players in various aspects of Malaysian society, from gender issues to human rights, in one room to discuss and debate topics that matter to the nation. The twist in these lectures is that the speakers chosen usually cuts across various viewpoints of the same topic, resulting in lively but mature discussion.

Through these sessions, I have learned that almost anything (I say almost because I didn't go to all the sessions, and there are many more areas that can be covered) can be discussed in an open manner. These sessions also act as a good mechanism for continuous learning - a concept that Malaysians in general have yet to embrace.

There are heaps of things that PROMUDA does, like the social series, to Prodigy, to those nice dinners in hotels, to ... well, if you really want to know, go to www.promuda.com and find out. Or you can engage the members by joining the Yahoo! Group or by reading their official mouthpiece, PRODIGY.

But what PROMUDA gave me that I consider as invaluable is the opportunity to make friends from all walks of life. I haven't been able to spend as much time and energy on 'being involved' as I used to, but rest assured, I do miss our little adventures!

My only disclaimer here is that I'm not a spokesperson (sorry PR team...), but I just wanted to share my personal views on the organisation.

My MC Tuesday

I greeted Ramadhan with the flu. So did several of my colleagues. Our little cubicle community is a harmony of sniffles, coughs (wet and dry) and little moans here and there.

As usual, the flu started with light symptoms that gradually built itself into a full-blown irritant. I am usually able to arrest its development by overdosing on orange juice (Ayah's remedy - only he used Sunkist!). This time I failed.

So I landed myself, miserable and parched, at Dr Azmi's clinic on Tuesday morning. He never fails to amuse me.

Dr: "Let's see if you have a temperature..."

{He proceeds to stick a thermometer thingy in my ear. After the thing beeped, he looked at my face. And with absolutely no expression, he says...}

Dr: "Apasal banyak sangat jerawat ni?"
(Why do you have so many pimples?)

Me: "Err... KL panaslah"
(KL has been hot.)

Dr: "Apasal I nampak you asyik pakai baju hitam aje?"
(Why do I always see you wearing black?)

Me: "Sebab I tau I nak jumpa doktor..."
(Cos' I know I'm going to see the doctor...)

What was I supposed to say???

This was preceeded by the usual insistance that I have developed asthma (since I once told him my sibling have asthma) and the odd query on whether I was pregnant.

I used to be irritated by his out-of-the-blue comments. Now, I welcome it, because despite his wackiness, he remembered to prescribe me 12-hour antibiotics which enables me to fast and get well.

Di Hening Pagi

Sahur - the meal Muslims are encouraged to have prior to the day's fast, has gradually grown less and less significant in how I personally observe it. We are encouraged to eat and drink, just enough to sustain ourselves through the day.

When I was living at home with my family, my father would wake us up. My brothers, being the heavy sleepers that they are, would continue dozing until my father's usual bellow - signifying the near end of the sahur period. Our meals would consist of rice, leftover dishes from the night before and a freshly cooked vegetable dish.

Later on in life, I notice that us young ones value our sleep above all else. It is difficult when no one else in the house eats rice during sahur, so I make an effort to eat at least a kurma (date) and drink lots of water.

For me, the bit I miss most about Ramadhan at home is not the breaking of the fast. The women usually end up with this horrifying mound of things to clean up after my brothers gorge themselves with otak-otak, ikan bakar and whatever dishes end up at the table (this happens because everyone ends up buying something for the family). There's no wastage at our table because Farhat, Fawaz and Al-Faruqi are all big eaters. The trick for the girls to make sure that there's enough stashed away for the next morning is to not serve everything!

I miss the sahur. Waking up to the silence of the morning, and hearing other houses nearby stir to do the same. The best part is watching my zombie siblings sleep walk their way to the table, and still manage to clean their pile of rice with their eyes half-closed...

Driving Mad

We all have our on-the-road horror stories. Some of us have had the misfortune of having been in one too many.

I talked to my cousins and brothers over the weekend about their need for speed. They're all young and fast cars fascinate them. Their excuse is always 'darah muda' or 'takkanlah nak bawa laju2 bila dah tua?'.

This was one topic they shouldn't have tested me on.

Speed on a public road is stupid. It doesn't matter if you think you can handle the car, or if you don't agree with the Malaysian speed limit. You obtained a legal licence, and if you don't like it, move to Europe. Don't get behind the wheel and screw up other people's lives.

It just doesn't make sense that people have to endanger their own lives, and most importantly, the lives of others, by weaving in and out past traffic that's flowing at the speed limit.

It doesn't make sense that people push cars to their limits, Kancils and Kelisas going at 150kph is something of a mean physical feat considering their light chassis.

A good friend was once involved in a freak bad accident while on a highway. The family was cruising when out of nowhere, a car from the other side of the highway pummelled into their vehicle. Lucky no one was killed.

I saw a mangled Jaguar on Thursday night - the front of the car almost unrecognisable, the back barely there. The car must have slammed onto the divider, spun, and slammed again from the other end. Lucky for the driver that the passenger area was left intact.

My family has been in numerous accidents in the past year or so. My father and brother was in a bad one. As they were trying to overtake a military truck, the truck sped faster, ramming into their vehicle, and overturning it. The truck was carrying live ammunitions. Lucky for everyone that this one was only carrying bullets. The ones behind them were apparently carrying explosives. Lucky my father walked away with bruises, my brother with scrapes on his shoulder.

I have been involved in 3 since mid-last year. It's one thing if the accident was your fault. It's another if you were just at the wrong place at the wrong time.

In the last accident I was in, the main casualty was the guy who hit us, he broke 2 legs, one arm and punctured a kidney. All because he couldn't wait and decided to overtake on a double line. In doing that, my brother broke his leg and jaw, and Sharizal got stitches in his knee and arm.

Another guy did the same thing to my cousin. My cousin passed away on the spot. His wife's jaw was broken in two places.

I heard of a movie called 'Crash' about this couple who developed a fetish for accident scenes after they themselves were involved in one. Me? I can't sleep in cars anymore. I cling to my seat whenever I hear something whoozing by (much to the horror of my friends!). Lucky for me, I've had friends who have been considerate of my little problem, who drives carefully when I'm in the car, and one who gave me a good talking to calm me down when the panic reflexes get out of hand (yes, that's you Noreen!).

To all you speeders out there: The road isn't the place to show off your prowess. There's no need to rush. The destination will always be there. What's the point of chasing after time, when the act of chasing may rob time away from you and others forever?

me@mac.com

It's time to break the news. I have a Mac!

Happy Happy Joy Joy!

I've had it for 2 weeks now. It's a 2nd hand iBook, a cute little 12" piece of laptop art, with 384MB of RAM, running on a 500Mhz PowerPC G3 processor and just enough hard disk space. It's running Mac OS X, with all the MS Office suite, Adobe software and other must-haves (iTunes, Safari etc).

They say Macs are idiot-proof. Meet the ultra-idiot. I managed to crash this machine twice. The good thing is that when a Mac chooses to crash, it just freezes. No funny hex code error messages, no english-sounding goobledygook. It just freezes. And all I had to do was press the power button long enough to shut it down. Restart, and it works like a charm (if I'm doing this wrong, someone please tell me now!).

I haven't had the chance to fully test this machine. There's still a couple of things I need to fix - like the loose power connector and additional RAM requirement. The machine currently takes a while to start up, but once it's up and running, I have no complaints.

There are two modes of display on my iBook - thousands of colours and millions of colours. At first glance at the former setting, I was already hooked. Then I saw what my plain old website looks like in millions of colours. Wow!

I ran Safari and IExplorer side by side. I also ran Safari against the IE on my office notebook. Yes, there is an obvious difference in how both browsers load pages. Safari is by far a faster and more elegant way to surf the Internet.

I've been playing my songs while I surf - no additional speakers required. The sound that comes out of little 'Molly' (temporary name given by Meesh until I decide to keep it) needs no retuning and no reinforcements.

Molly has built-in wireless that takes no effort to configure. One other Mac feature that impressed me was how simple system preference options were, and how well the OS protects your installation (any modifications can be password protected).

As for the perceived hassles of switching between the two environments on a daily basis? I know heaps of people who toggle between Windows and Linux everyday. Windows and Mac is much easier to manage - all I have to remember is to press that little 'apple' key instead of 'Ctrl' for my shortcuts.

p.s. As with all things this beautiful (I can't stress the word enough!), we must learn to take care of it properly. I've enlisted the help of Mac Master, Hadiee, to teach me the ins and outs of Molly. =)

p.p.s. Selamat Berpuasa Everyone. And to the non-Muslims, enjoy the empty food courts while it lasts! ;)

Rich People Can Be Good.

Noreen and I have been having some strange conversations lately. It might have something to do with my pig-skin shoe encounter recently, or just the fact that Ramadhan and the change of PMs is just around the corner.

Statement: Economic prosperity is the key to piety.

I was once asked by an Ustazah during my school days whether it was the poor or rich man who would be most likely to commit sin. I immediately answered: the rich man, because with all the resources at his disposal, he will find it hard to fight the temptations of wealth and concentrate on his faith. My Ustazah argued back - the poor man will be most likely to commit sin because his basic needs have not been met, and hence, it is more difficult for him to concentrate on matters of faith.

It was later that I learned about Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

Is it just me or does Malay-Muslim culture have great disdain for the accumulation of wealth? The argument upheld by wannabe pious men is that wealth cannot be taken to the Hereafter, and this point is raised time and time again when dealing with life decisions e.g. education, career, relationships, or business investments. There are numerous anecdotes, some making it to moving picture, that portray the wealthy as snotty, arrogant, unhappy, and worse of all, un-pious. The message here is money corrupts, so if you want to be a good Muslim, don't seek it.

The flip side to this is that borrowing is very common among the same community to fulfill certain needs - like furniture (read: Courts Mammoth), and certain excesses (read: wedding loans).

At the end of the day, isn't Islam a religion of moderation - one that allows for a balance between ibadah and worldly affairs? At the end of the day, one would need money to pay zakat, or go for Haj. At the end of the day, it is easier to refine one's prayer when the house is standing and there's ample food on the table.

Going back to the hierarchy of needs then, would it not be to the benefit of the ummah if all our basic needs are fulfilled, so that we can reach self-actualisation? If this statement is accepted, then an obvious means to this end would be the prudent act of accumulating wealth, whether it be through investment or business or an education plan that reaches past a basic certificate - all of which can be obtained in a halal manner.

Idle Preoccupations

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

We need to have fun once in a while. After my scrumptious Marmite Crab dinner (thanks to Bad!), things started getting a little woozy and I landed myself on Hani's site. Couldn't focus on anything else, but Quizilla. I shouldn't have done the quiz. Now I'm way too freaked out to go to sleep...

Happy Deepavali.

... with something in mind.

I found this photo extremely moving.

Sourced from here.

Without Words

I've been hooked to a song for the past few weeks, so much so that it plays in my head in a McBeal-eque way. The song - "Starlight in Daden" by Ekova, is part of a compilation of World Music type songs on the Sounds of Milano Fashion CD that I got a while back. At first listen, one would think that it's an ancient African chant, with a hint of Celtic influence.

The song is a very upbeat and happy one - with really good headphones, you can feel the African drums, the sound of desert wind and you can almost imagine giraffes and elephants running across a prehistoric landscape. I liked it so much that I wanted to know what those lyrics meant.

Excerpts from a review:

Dierdre Dubois has taken a page from the Cocteau Twins book and created her own improvised language, a kind of multicultural glossolalia that is as mysterious as it is musical.

...

Astronomers have long remarked on the human eye's ability to see very faint stars in the sky - as long as you're not looking directly at them. There are hundreds of stars too dim to see if viewed head on, but with a slight turn of the head, they can be seen glittering in our peripheral vision, like magic. Ekova's music has a similar, illusory quality. It offers a hint of the Sahara, a glimpse of old Erin, but if you look closely, those sounds aren't really there.

So those words didn't mean anything. Which intrigues me even more.

I once heard a colleague mention that the Qur'an has a soul, and if read aloud with the proper tajweed (pronounciation and intonation), the soul is communicated. It conveys the wrath of God, and the joy in the promises of rewards in the Afterlife, irrespective of language - so that even the most illiterate among us can feel the message.

www.onlinebankingsux.com.my

It's really frustrating being a bank customer in Malaysia.

In the past couple of months, too many of us, including those who have the privilege and responsibility of being on the BoD of some international banks have had to bear the brunt of 'added security measures'. As Malaysia apparently high-risk in terms of credit card frauds, the banks have taken the initiative to reduce their risk by pre-emptively blocking cards that are suspected to have been cloned. As a customer, I'm happy with this - but please, tell us first or immediately after you decide to block the card?

I know of one AMEX customer who had to bear the embarrassment of having his card declined at Dunhill, KLCC. He was a foreigner, and because the charges were made in Malaysia, it was picked up as an anomaly. I know of a Malaysian who had to bear the extra cost of paying for a 2nd driver charge in the UK because his own card was rejected. I myself had my card blocked as I arrived in Australia - a major problem when it comes to large payments like accommodation and transportation.

But I realised today that it's just as frustrating being an online bank customer in Malaysia.

Firstly, website access in Malaysia are generally slow. This is a given. Hence, a lot of effort has gone into customising things to suit the shoddy Malaysian internet infrastructure. But with all the resources available to the banks, why is it that they can't optimise their sites to suit us poor internet users?

Secondly, I have too many passwords as it is. My company uses a single sign-on application which, while useful, is to me quite pointless because it signs on to applications that I use every day. If you use the password and ID every day, one would assume that it would be difficult to forget.

So I have a long list inside my head. No, I don't write my passwords down - it defeats the purpose of having a password. I used to keep it in a secured file in my PDA - but 1) I no longer have the PDA and 2) I once had it wiped out by accident. Yes, there is backup. But nothing beats a brain.

On top of all that, I have a Maybank2u password, a Citibank password, pin numbers for these accounts, numerous passwords to webmail services, industry magazines etc etc etc.

I had mistakenly deposited a post-dated cheque recently, which should not be honoured (as I was penalised RM10 for it), but was honoured anyway. Hence, my friend ended up paying twice for money she owed me. I tried to log in to Maybank2u, keyed in my password wrongly 3 times and got myself locked out. To unlock the account, I have to call a number. The number has been engaged all morning.

How much does it cost to have a decent call centre nowadays? Whatever the figure is, it should be peanuts for these banks, especially a bank like Maybank.

My plea to the local banks or anyone who has a new great idea:

1. Make sure you have adequate support for idiot users like me. Have lots of agents and available incoming lines or if you can't afford it, have an automatic reset password function.

2. If you don't want people to forget their passwords, make sure you work on a common identity structure with someone else. Don't bloody reinvent the wheel! MSN had a great idea - single ID to all its services. Now they, and many many others, have jumped on the Liberty Alliance bandwagon.

In the meanwhile - back to queuing... :(

On Presenting Arguments

I am several month late on picking this up, but upon looking for other reading material, I came across this article: When the music stops: Extremists Disrupt Muslim HIV/AIDS Conference. In summary, it chronicled the conduct of a faction of Muslims when showing dissent at ideas that were not aligned to their own. The author, who was present at the conference, also observed that the tactics used by this faction was directed mainly at progressive Muslim women speakers, as opposed to like-minded males. The tactics deployed were what I would consider uncivilised - they chose to disrupt proceedings, instead of engaging the progressives in discussion.

Prior to reading this article, I received emails from Malaysian delegates who rallied others to support the movement against Dr Amina Wadud. I didn't really take the time to delve too much into what was so offensive, thinking that it's another one of those "We do not want talk about certain things because Islam is all about yadda yadda yadda..." arguments.

I don't know enough yet to form an opinion, but what disturbed me was the conduct of the (for lack of a better term) traditionalists in their method of engaging (in this case) the progressives.

Some tactics as reported in the article:

1. The traditionalists resorted to ambushing the targeted speakers as publicly as possible i.e. during plenary sessions.

2. The conference allowed for workshops following plenary sessions for more detailed discussion on the topics presented. The traditionalists were apparently not present at this discussion.

3. Accusations of the non-muslimness of those who opposed their views were shamelessly hurled across the conference.

The traditionalists focused on disruption rather than engagement. They focused on guerilla tactics that disregarded the basic human dignity of their victims. They allowed little room for civil communication in resolving any conflicts arising from differences in opinions.

Question: How are we going to develop if we can't present our arguments and discuss in a civil and rational manner?

Addendum:

I've received some wonderful reading suggestions from my visitors.

1. From atok: Can Muslims Handle the Truth? Amina Wadud Talks About Islam, AIDS, and Tolerance
2. From danny: Shanon Shah's Blog
3. From namiaf: The Art of Controversy

Thanks!

A Sad Weekend - II

Someone once said, when a person passes on, all that's left is his name. Johan Ismail left a good name...

Al-fatihah.

A Sad Weekend - I

News of Johan Ismail's passing here:

1. On Weekends here and here.
2. On Screenshots here and here.
3. On Meesh's Experience.
4. On Nicster's Rant.
5. On Suara Malaysia.
6. On Dr Liew.
7. On Mental Jog.
8. On viewtru.
9. On Digital Fugue.
10. On sharizal.net.
11. On mum-mum.
12. On na:nu:na:nu.
13. On VOI.
14. On DavidTeoh.com.
15. On Digital Awakening.
16. On TitaniumFische.
17. On Alphaque.

And a final response from Jo's family here on Screenshots.

(I accidentally posted twice, but since comments have been made, and I can't do much about shifting things around, I thought it would be useful if I replaced the erroneous post with a collation some of the tributes to Johan Ismail as seen on PPS and the blogosphere in general).

...

"What do you need to give up? Is there something you want to be rid of? Are you hoping for a significant change in your situation? Then don't look at what it would be so nice to lose, look at what it may just be possible to gain. If you embrace a positive proposition with open arms, you will automatically put yourself at a distance from whatever seems daunting or depressing. Promises may sound like so much hot air but if you create the right kind of balloon around them, you may yet find they lift you up and carry you away to happier shores."

Cainer Today.

National Pride

The Chinese have a lot to be proud about - a decade of hard work paid off after a flawless return flight by their first taikonaut.

Despite all the scepticism surrounding any major Malaysian endeavour, I'm kind of proud that I'm Malaysian. True, we're not exactly an Asian powerhouse, but we have to admit that it's difficult for anyone to die of starvation in Malaysia.

We have issues to deal with in terms of how we treat our women, but I can hold a job, commute from my home to work, socialise, shop and basically live my life without much problems.

We probably have a long way more to go in terms of how we deal with our differences, but we can live side by side in peace. And despite the fact that we have more than our fair share of idiots who think that they can do whatever they want, and motorists who can't seem to grasp the concept of traffic rules, but the way I see it, we've got sunshine, we've got water, and we've got a whole lot of opportunities...

At this juncture, I will restrain myself from using the 'B' word...

On Malaysian Cosmonauts

I spent Standard One and Standard Two in SRK Damansara Utama, where I had a very enriching childhood. However, one experience that I regret to remember is that of a teacher who told me that I couldn't be what I wanted to be.

It was hard enough that they had to inventorise what all the students wanted to be when they grew up. There were three choices open, mine came in this order:

1. Astronaut
2. Prime Minister
3. Economist

The third one came because I vaguely knew that my father did economics, therefore he must have been an economist.

The second one was the megalomaniac in me - I liked bossing people around then and what better job than to boss a country around?

The first one came from my love for all thing heavenly - an interest which precipitated my reading habits, and subsequently, my love for Greek mythology.

In the good old days, where teachers meant something, this one told me that I couldn't aspire to be one because Malaysia could never have a space program. She further told me that I couldn't be Prime Minister either because only men can be Prime Ministers. She finally settled with the idea that I should aspire to be an economist.

Truth be told, I cried that day. I never had anyone tell me I couldn't do anything before that day.

I continued my education in the States, where we, as a class, lived the moments of how a teacher was selected to become an astronaut, and how she perished while pursuing her dream, as a member of the Challenger crew. I saw my classmates apply to Cape Canaveral for special Young Astronaut programs. I realised that my teacher in Malaysia had no business being a teacher, because here I was, in the States, a citizenship away from being an astronaut.

Well, I buried that dream and took the path of the sciences anyway, pursuing my degree in Communication Engineering. Not that I had any idea what I wanted to be, but hey, just in case there was an opening, at least I had a useful degree right?

But seriously, I can't swim, I am afraid of heights, but the lesson I learned is that we should NEVER tell anyone that they can't do something, for whatever reason.

It's odd that the Malaysian Cosmonaut application form was less stringent than a Jobstreet one. I wonder if the team at NSA takes this as seriously as the money we're pumping into this program?

Do You Have The Right Stuff?

A commentary here.

Apply here.

Eeeeeee!!!

She is sooooooooooooooooo cute!!!!!!!!!!!!

Picture courtesy of her mum.

My (non)-relationship with Money

I am not one to chase after the material things. OK, so I like my shoes, I like my handbags and I especially like my chocolates and hand creams to come from nice places. But ask me what car I want to get or when am I planning to buy a house, and you'll see a blank look on my face.

I admit - I once bore my financial soul out to a financial planner friend, who insinuated that I have a financial maturity of a 19-year old. I told him that money meant nothing to me, except when I can use it to make myself, and my loved ones, comfortable. How much was enough? As long as I didn't have to think about it too much, that's enough.

Not a very empirical way for going about this whole situation - in uni, I slept through my finance/accounting/economics electives - the only thing that stuck in my head was the basic principles of supply and demand - something that helps me understand why my favourite things never go on sale...(thanks for the pointer Fische...). As an engineering student, I never saw the ka-ching symbol, except for when it was at the end of a graph. It's odd, but I probably have more appreciation of time rather than money.

Which brings me to making money and its associated target items something to shoot for in life. My father is great with money - he has lots of it - accumulated painfully and faithfully over many many years. He has a stock portfolio, several LUTH account, ASB (until he found something he didn't like), property etc. Having a PhD in that discipline helps, but I guess he's always clung to the old proverb:

"Sedikit-sedikit lama-lama jadi bukit"

Accumulation of wealth - he has several hours of good information on how to get there. Unfortunately, each time the topic is brought up, I end up having this glazed look on my face and my mind wanders to what I'm going to do later.

I know heaps of people who would probably jump at the opportunity of being guided in such a direction. There are those to agonise over property investments and mutual trust funds, all things that could get my father talking way into the night.

There are also those who makes the financial milestones of a 'successful' life such a priority that it does not matter to them how they get there. 2 percent off a contract in one's own pocket, or into that of another to gain a sale, extension of credit lines that make bankers rub their hands in glee, or even the simple act of neglecting one's health to pay off that shiny new Bimmer, are all things I can never palate.

I'm sure that a middle ground between me and money can be reached. But until I get that 'hunger' - all I can hope for is for me to get money as a result of my hunger for other things - like achievement and personal satisfaction in my career.

I have one friend who owes no one money. She has no credit cards, no loans, and she insists that her mother buys new property only when she has enough cash to pay it off. Very old-fashioned, but she insists that she can't bear the thought of owing any money to anyone. I guess in her position, she is the back-up to her family (her father passed away some time ago, and she's the eldest), and perhaps the thought of having no one look after her is enough to mould her into becoming the true financially independent person. How I wish I could be that person...

Jikon! Go Away! Again!

Haunting... very haunting this person.

Sometimes because of our emotional bonds, it is difficult to leave something behind.

Sometimes, we just have to.

I don't know what will happen next,
what I'm going to be, what I'm going to learn.
But what I do know is this: life, all life,
is about asking questions,
not about knowing answers.
It is wanting to see what's over the next hill that keeps us all going.
We have to keep on asking questions, wanting to understand.
Even when we know we'll never find the answers.
We have to keep on asking the questions.

- voiceover from Episode 10 of Steven Spielberg's Taken

Dropping Everything for Him

Have you ever had those odd feelings that you can't shake? Have you ever felt that for that one moment, nothing else mattered but that single most important person in your life?

This weekend, little events started building up - a phone call, a conversation, the sound of things not being as 'fine' as it should have been. In that moment, what I would call the moment of truth, nothing else matters - not my petty little problems, or the petty little distractions the world had to offer. I had to be there, just to see for myself, just to make sure that things are indeed fine - or be prepared to regret it for the rest of my life. I figured that I couldn't make the same mistake twice...

Not coming to work on Monday - informed my Team Leader this afternoon. Will be back by Monday night.

Numb

I haven't felt irritated about anything in a long time. The last time before this round of 'not feeling anything' was some time last year when I had a very bad back pain that resulted in a suspected cyst, 2 MRIs and a couple days' worth of valium.

A friend commented a while back that I am not as bitchy as I used to be. My competitive streak was somewhat tamed, and things don't seem to irritate me as much as it used to.

I sat down at KLCC park one day wondering - what happened?

Today, I think I've found the answer.

Denial.

Perhaps my perpetual need to perform the ostrich maneuvre each time I sense a hurricane coming my way has numbed the senses a bit. When faced with too many things to think about, I find myself escaping more and more into a cave.

Call me the urban hermit - I now have really nice Sony headphones to filter out things I don't want to hear (and instead listen to Nocturne In Paris), I have purple glasses to make the world look more colourful than it actually is, and Noreen and I have now started parking ourselves at the cafe nearest to L'Occitane so that we can pretend, for a while, that the world doesn't stink (literally).

I'm finding myself escaping in my reading a lot more. I surf the internet and look up places I hope to visit one day. I subsequently frequent restaurants that allow me to immerse myself in this fantasy.

I've stopped reading the paper. If the news is important enough, someone will tell me about it.

This, of course, has resulted in me having less opinions than I used to.

All these little changes in my life, compounded, has resulted in me having less feelings than I used to.

Is this what it feels like to get old? (Or am I entering my pre-30s blues?)

The Arrogance of Success

More from Gerstner's book:

"... the cultural transformation of IBM's formerly successful and deeply entrenched culture - our single most critical and difficult task - will require constant reinforcement or the company could yet again succumb to the arrogance of success."

The culture in question was the result of an overwhelmingly dominant role IBM played since its formation in the early part of the 20th century, which created a self-containing ecosystem, all the way to its inevitable 'halt' as the organisation faced a 13-year anti-trust suit filed against it by the US Department of Justice in 1969. These two key events were described by Gerstner as the main reasons behind IBM's inability to deal with the IT boom in the early 90s.

This got me to thinking about how groups of people evolve - how most organisations tend to exhibit a similar kind of behaviour. In the absence of market competition, we end up creating our own internal competitions. When we think we're too great - we end up (as Gerstner puts it) succumbing to the arrogance of success.

The cultural transformation IBM went through was a lengthy one - a reengineering project which spanned 10 years. While one can't really draw direct parallels between the reengineering of a company and the reengineering of a people, I am still curious to see the original blueprints for Malaysia's MSC, whether it covered the breadth required to create sustainable change.

Still digesting...

Creating Something that Lasts

It seems that people today like to do things at 'internet speed'. Getting it out quick gains precedence over staying ahead. True, there are still those who value staying power, but there are just too many short-sighted leaders out there corrupting the landscape.

It's interesting that when it comes to rhetoric, there are too many people who pay lip service to doing something at a pace that enables quality control and good planning. Too often, such an effort is labelled as being too slow or not meeting the 'demands of the market'.

Hence, businesses, products or even whole infrastructures spring up - some with short-sighted captains at the helm. The problem then is that one day, such shoddy structures start to leak, and cracks appear. Replace that captain with another short-sighted one that promises quick resolution. Plaster it over with some concrete and the visible crack goes away. For a while, at least.

Doing something 'slow' and steady may be an old-fashioned concept, but it works. It helps build things that last - like the Pyramids.

Reading: Who Says Elephants Can't Dance? - by Louis V Gerstner Jr.

Jikon! Go Away!

This man is beginning to get under my skin. First, he draaaaaags this debate to a new level, which is fine, I guess. But I do hope those trolls don't wander onto his spanking new and pink site.

Then, he made me look at Cainer.

This is what Cainer had to say to all Taureans out there.

When do we learn? When do we grow? When do we blossom? When do we shine? When we are placed in unfamiliar situations. It's so easy to fall into a habit pattern when everything around you is much as it ever was. Only when you are breaking new ground do you discover what you can do. Yet we all tend to resist change. It makes us nervous. Don't mistakenly reject this week's big chance to start living a different kind of life. You may well find your new challenge difficult but you will find it immensely rewarding.

Sigh.

It would be great if life unfolds itself as easily as the words of an astrologer. Still in autumn and perhaps, I may yet skip winter and move right into spring?

Away from Autumn, Into Winter

Winter's Roads by Ron Carnell

I cannot speak for all who stem
'Long roads less traveled as their way,
Nor question choices made by them
In days long past or nights long dim
by words they spoke and did not say.

Each road is long, though short it seems,
And credence gives each road a name
Of fantasies sun-drenched in beams
Or choices turned to darkened dreams,
To where each road wends just the same.

From North to South, then back again,
I followed birds like all the rest
Escaping nature's snowy den
On roads I've seen and places been,
Forsaking roads that traveled West.

This journey grows now to its end,
As road reflections lined in chrome
Give way to roads with greater bend
And empty signs that still pretend
They point the way to home sweet home.

But all roads lead to where we go
And where we go is where we've been,
So home is just a word we know,
That space in time most apropos
For where we want to be again.

For even home, it seems to me,
Is still a choice we all must face
From day to day and endlessly,
To choose if home is going to be
Another road - or just a place.

Around the World in 80 Hops?

Take your left hand, pull it back around your head, wrap it around to your right side and touch your nose.

That's how the Malaysian internet infrastructure works. Roughly.

Dinesh posted on this recently. That traceroute does look da** familiar.

A while back, we looked at how to make certain local corporate online services more 'efficient'. Short of butchering the code of some pre-built portal products, other choices that needed to be made seemed logical - sourcing the best internet service provider. We asked around other large companies and found that the ones with the best response times hosted their sites in Hong Kong, the US, basically anywhere else but Malaysia.

The answer was unacceptable and test after test was conducted. The most disappointing moment was on a Tuesday morning, a little before lunch time, we dialled into TMNet to access our dummy site in Jaring and we got a 404 error. A traceroute yielded something like what Dinesh has on his site, only that the packet was dropped somewhere in LA while trying to get from a direct dial-up connection in Brickfields to a site only a couple of physical kilometers away.

Funny how we consistently got through using our lame free TimeNet account - 9 hops, via Singapore and back into Malaysia.

Yes, some things don't make sense...

Related: Dinesh on Jaring CEO Response

A Dignified Farewell

A friend of mine called me up tonight asking me a question: Am I sad that Mahathir is leaving?

The question is loaded in that he was privy to my opinions during those tumultuous reformasi days, during which I had the 'honour' of being called misguided and naive by him, someone I've grown to respect.

All that aside, I can honestly say that I have no opinion other than one that treats him (the PM) as a person - that I'm happy for him that he has chosen to retire, because if I were him, I'd hate it if my company made me work well into my 70s! =P

Much has been said about the outpouring of emotions from the Malaysian society in general. I think that the capitalising of this historical change of guard (since we haven't had one in a long time), has got to stop. RM1.50 for an SMS for a competition for the best thank you note to him is outrageous. He's leaving, he's an icon, he deserves our dignified thank you - befitting the sacrifices he's made all these years.

Jikon posted earlier on this very issue, and I know exactly where he's coming from. The mindless symbolisms and fawning is sad - it shows that we are a society that does not know how to give a sincere thank you and farewell.

My first response to Jikon's post:

If I were him:

1. I'd want all the mindless fawning to stop.
2. I'd like the whole of Malaysia 'berikrar' to not undo my work, to buck up and face challenges the world has to offer, and to stop doing things that make me cry during every UMNO General Assembly.

PM is a great man, there's no doubt about it. A nice grand ceremony to bid him farewell would be great, you know, the kind where jets are flying over KL, and the streets are lined with men in uniform standing salute as a dignified procession with him being ushered out of Putrajaya/KL (have to go past KL) moves on. Then we commission someone like Latif Mohideen (spel?) to do a really nice piece on his term as PM. End of story.

Just hope that someone doesn't redo Lagenda in his name - oops.. someone did that already! =P

Then the thread went off on the 'look at everything he did for us' tangent, hence justifying any form of expression of gratitude... *sigh*

My second response to the thread:

No one here is saying that the Old Man does not deserve our thanks, it's just that there is a way to do it - classy, sincere, and dignified - befitting of his sacrifices to our country.

The more we condone and encourage mindless symbolisms, the emptier a word of thanks or a show of support becomes, much in the same way that the Malaysian Book of Records is NOT a indicator of Malaysia's achievements...

It's all about actions people, not just empty words and promises...

I Love This Stuff!!! (a review of L'Occitane)

I calculated today that I must have spent almost RM600 on stuff from L'Occitane in KLCC since it opened. No, not everything I bought was for myself, I've spread the love around a bit: to a new bride and a sufferer of riverwater allergies.

Not a new name in personal care products, L'Occitane products have graced the bathrooms of renowned hotels worldwide, including the Ascott across the road. I don't know if it was the packaging (no-nonsense aluminium tubes for their creams, aluminium bottles for their lavendar vinegars, and socially-friendly brailled boxes), or the very soothing scent of lavendar that keeps on calling to me each time Noreen and I go to the Boh cafe for our daily teh tarik fix, but this shop is way too addictive.

It's not just another great 'body' shop - L'Occitane works with a women's cooperative in Burkina Faso, where village women harvest shea nuts and co-produce the shea butter.

The great thing about it is that it's not just hype. The hand creams are heavenly, I'm using a simple shea butter concoction that's not too oily and has a light undescribable scent. The soaps are all vegetable-based, light on the perfumes, great on the skin. Call me self-indulgent, but these things are to die for and truly define the simple comforts in life. It's no wonder that we caught some French tourists jump in delight at the sight of the store...

A (wo)Man and (her)His Word

There's an old Malay saying: Harimau mati meninggalkan belang, manusia mati meninggalkan nama. - There are some names of truly great people that I wish I could shout from the rooftops...

I notice that the friends who stick by me through the bad times, while diverse in every possible way, have one similar trait. They don't make promises lightly. They are all reluctant in their niceties to others - I noticed that eventhough there are times when they can easily offer assistance, they sit quiet. A lesser person may think of them as selfish and cold. Having known them for some time now, I notice that these friends of mine only offer when they know they can fulfill their promise - and when they do, they commit all the way to keeping that promise, no matter how miniscule the task.

Life is too short for words to go unsaid. To these friends who have loved me so much (you all know who you are...), I am amazed at your kindness, your understanding and your acceptance. I am so glad to have met you and am so thankful for your trust, your loyalty and your friendship.

Thank you...

How Do I Think?

Sarini got me to this test. I took it, then looked at the comments on her post.

Sarini, I bet this is a first in your list...

*freaking out... going off to look for food*

Emotional Bank Accounts

I heard this in a meeting today, that we all have emotional bank accounts that are deposited into or withdrawn from constantly in our interactions with people. The key to good customer relationship is to ensure that we are always depositing, and a lot at that, so that the odd withdrawal is excusable or forgiven. In the event that the account is neutral or negative, the same withdrawal may be perceived to be quite significant, which of course, results in friction and general unpleasantness. Hence, the obvious would be to ensure that we are always in the high positives.

Common sense - uncommon implementation.

In areas of business, one would think that this would be the ultimate goal, considering that the direct pay-off is profit. But even businesses can't see past their egos and other similar noise.

These emotional bank accounts also apply in interpersonal relationships - friends, siblings, lovers. However, it may be more difficult to stay focused, because the direct pay-off is not as tangible as money. Nevertheless, one would think that people can see past whatever distractions there are to ensure that their accounts are in the high positives, to ensure the survival of those relationships - should they deem these relationships as worthwhile.

Of course, if we are unable to do this in business, how can we expect to do it in relationships? Excuses are plenty, but the result of a negative account is always the same - one party inevitably leaves.